I adore your description of your father carrying you into the house. I, too, have dealt with a lot of loss and letting go in the last two years. I had to move out of my house of twenty years and give away all my things, but it was for the best, I keep telling myself. My daughter moved to New York City, but she is happier, I say out loud even though I am not. My friend from before kindergarten died, but she was in so much pain, I remind myself. I haven’t even acknowledged what our President has done, but, yes, that needs to be included. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that any of us are focused on loss and the grief that accompanies it right now. You spoke to that beautifully.
I observed through your piece that instead of trying to “talk myself out of it,” which is what I’m doing, I should just sit with it for a while, like a soak in a hot bath. Not wallow per se, but realize that the process of grieving is necessary and important. And sometimes it’s okay.